Understanding My Why
The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose. So the question then becomes, what is the meaning of purpose? It's the reason why you do the things you do. It's what motivates you to keep going, especially when things get overwhelming. It's what inspires you to be the best version of yourself.
I've searched for that purpose and the person I was meant to be. I spent two-thirds of my life in a non-supportive and negative environment. It was a massive contradiction to the person I was, goofy, happy, and loved to dance. Finally, I realized my stagnant growth was controlled by confinement, and I was unaware of my identity. I discovered that I wasn't doing anything for myself, and my current trajectory didn't resonate with finding my purpose.
I moved across the United States to Los Angeles to find myself, and I did. I discovered that I love the beach because it gave me peace. I loved meeting people and trying new things. I loved being the girl from New York who loved soca and reggae music. But I still didn't know my purpose. I spent a lot of time trying to navigating this thing called life and what I found was love. It was natural, free, and easy. What became clear was that I wanted more. A house to call my own. A family to love. And to achieve consistent happiness. These new wants encouraged me to move to Texas with my love so we can establish our roots.
Shortly after our transition, I discovered I was with child. I didn’t understand life until it was growing inside of me. This is how I found my motivation to succeed. The journey of motherhood! Who would have known that this was the one thing that could define my purpose? Becoming a mother awakened that mama bear instinct inside of me. Immediately, I wanted to protect and nurture my growing womb especially since, everything around me was new.
I was riddled with anxiety about my new responsibility, uneasy in a new environment, and making matters worse, morning sickness set in. Then, instead of enjoying the bliss of being pregnant and watching my tiny belly grow into a basketball, I was diagnosed with a condition called marginal cord insertion. It's when the cord attaches on the side of the placenta instead of the middle. This condition is considered abnormal and can increase the likelihood of low birth weight, pre-term delivery, or other neonatal issues. As a result, I was required to see the OB-GYN more frequently, which provided consistent updates. But it didn't decrease the worry I felt every day because I was unsure if my body was equipped to handle pregnancy. I was in love with this little person, yet I was terrified of any possible negative outcome.
Fast forward to the day of my scheduled induction. I had an excellent nursing staff, more specifically, an RN named Mary, attentive and motherly. She informed me that my daughter's heartbeat was inconsistent anytime I would rest. This part of my journey was unexpected and not ideal. I was petrified and mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted from being unable to eat or sleep.
The power of the mind was imperative to delivering my daughter safely. I choose to make this experience peaceful and calm. I choose to think positively and use the support of my husband and nurse. I decided to use strength, and I convinced myself that I could do this. And I did. I turned on old Soca and Reggae, and I allowed the familiarity of the music to uplift my spirits. Finally, I danced my way to full dilation and delivered this beautiful seven-pound baby.
It was my nurse, Mary's last day. However, my birth experience, courage, and positivity convinced Mary her story as a nurse was not finished yet. I was able to influence this woman to continue with her life's work. Even though this wasn't intentional, this gave me purpose. My ability to change Mary's career trajectory gave me the drive to help and influence others. My's daughter birth gave me the motivation to start my business.
Next, I needed to figure out my niche…
